Click Here for Previous
Weasels and Winners
I hate weasels. It was a shock when I learned just how many
of them there actually are, especially in the small world of
Lots of fans of Americana Music take great pride in bashing
Nashville music weasels, but either ignore or are ignorant of
the fact that they are just as bad in the Americana genre, albeit
on a smaller scale.
Americana Music is for the most part a very small market.
The vast majority of artists performing in this genre are lucky
if they make enough to pay their band and cover the bar tab.
There just ain't a lot of money in it for most.
Still, the weasels want as much of that money as possible,
and will do damn near anything to get it. They'll band together
with other weasels to increase their power, and artists who choose
not to go along are confined to the fringes hauling their equipment
in the back of a van and playing smoky dives where the pay is
low and the sound sucks, while their often less talented peers
spend their pre-show time sipping bottled water or imported beer
in a nice room backstage as their guitars are being tuned on
stage. Those who choose to go along with the weasels generally
have a much better chance of "making it" than those
Here's how a totally fictional weasel deal works:
Weasel A has a radio consulting business. He forms an alliance
with Weasel B who has an artist management business. They bring
in Weasel C who is a record distributor. Then along comes Weasel
D who has a music magazine. They get together and cut a deal
with Weasel E who has an advertising agency. Now they're cooking.
Weasel B signs an artist who LOOKS good enough to be a star.
Weasel E places an ad in Weasel D's magazine and Weasel D returns
the favor by running a review touting Weasel B's artist as the
next big thing. Weasel A makes sure his radio buddies play the
records that Weasel B's artist makes. Weasel C makes sure that
those records are placed in the best locations in record stores.
Weasel D puts Weasel B's artist on their "chart." Weasel
E lands Weasel B's artist a television commercial. Now Weasel
B's artist is a star.
Sure, I left out some of the details, but that is basically
how it works. Now, suppose a Junior Weasel who works for Weasel
A, B, C, D or E wants to make his mark. He finds himself a marginally
talented but good LOOKING band, and then starts contacting folks
like, oh, Rockzillaworld and asking them to tell folks
how great the marginally talented band is, and that, well...considering
his connections and all, it might be a very good thing for Rockzillaworld
if they did them this small favor.
Well, Rockzillaworld, as politely as possible, tells
the Junior Weasel to go fuck himself. And that, as they say,
is that. That's why we'll always be nothing more than a little
old web-zine that publishes reviews of music that we think you
should know about.